Currently Listening Affirmation By Savage Garden The Animal Song see related

Pacing Is A Problem For Me...

So...I just went on my first run of my official training.  Ok, so what...I started a few days later than I planned.  At least I'm starting!  I went for just under 6 miles.  I am now looking for something in my apartment to ice my knees with because our ice trays are empty and my tendonitis is killing me!

I did realize something though...I'm training for this marathon that is in April.  That means that by the end of my training, my body will  be used to running in cold, dry(as in not humid) weather, whereas, the race is going to be when the weather is starting to get warmer and more humid.  How bad does that suck!  But oh well....since I started running in the 8th grade, one of my life goals has been to run at least one marathon....I'm now on my way to completing that goal, so make all the fun you want!  I'm going to be able to say that I ran a 26.2 mile race and will be able to put a check mark on my list of things to do before I die.

I would like to say, though, that it's been my experience to take off hard and strong at the beginning of the race.  That being said, the longest run I've ever done without a stop, is 10 miles....and that was in the Fall of 1998.  I can't imagine that I'll be able to take off at the beginning of the marathon and be able to run the whole thing, therefore, I'm looking for anyone who would be willing to run with me that can set a pace at the beginning that wouldn't be hard to maintain throughout the entire 26.2 miles.  If you are willing to do so....whether it be just during the training so I get the feel of it or throughout the training and in the race as well......shoot me a message on here with your email address and I'll email you my training plan.

Anyway, I'm going to relax and read my book now....I'm worn out!  I haven't run that hard in a very long time!  Have a wonderful (__night/morning/afternoon/evening__)!

Much love!

Currently Listening A Different Light By Sherwood Middle Of The Night see related

Societal Acceptance

So I've been doing some thinking lately...and I've come to the conclusion that when people ask you how you're doing, they don't really expect to hear anything except that you're doing "well" or "ok" or "fine."  If they hear anything different, they are caught off-guard.  They don't really care.

Maybe I'm the only one who cares enough to actually want to hear how people are.  Maybe I'm the only one that wants to hear how people actually are doing, not just wanting to hear them say that they're "fine."  Maybe I'm the only one that doesn't just want the socially acceptable "I'm good.  How are you?"  Is that person really "good" or is there something eating at them inside?  Is there something bothering them that they need someone to talk to?  Are they just too proud to tell someone what's going on?  Maybe I'm the only one who wants to be there for people.  Maybe people feel that there's noone in society that actually wants to hear about what's bothering them that they put on a front so others don't have to deal with their "problems."  I do admit, I don't tell people about my issues.  But I am the kind of person that doesn't want people to worry about my issues.  I'm the kind of person that wants to be the one people come to to talk.  I feel bad if I burden others with my problems.  Yes, I feel as though it is a burden on others.

And those that do feel as though they need someone to talk to end up going to a psychologist or psychiatrist and then feel as though there is something wrong with them just for needing someone to talk to.  Has it gotten that bad in society that someone can't turn to a friend for just an ear to listen?  No advice is necessary!  Sometimes people just need someone to listen!  Not carry a conversation...just listen and be there for them.  Maybe I'm just too caring.  Maybe I just expect too much from humanity.  Maybe I should just accept the fact that people are so shallow that a simple "I'm fine." should suffice the classic question "How are you doing today?"  Maybe I should accept the reality that people don't really care how you are doing but just ask out of societal acceptance.  Maybe I'm the only one who cares enough to want to hear how people actually are doing.  Maybe I should become as shallow as everyone else and just simply accept the usual "I'm doing good."

Maybe I should stop caring so much about others and worry more about myself.  But then again, that's who I am.  I don't plan on changing that.  I plan on continuing to actually want to know how people are doing.  I don't want to hear the typical answers.  I actually want to know how you're doing.  I want to be that ear to listen...whether I listen and give advice or just listen and am there as a shoulder for you to lean on.  For those of you that are going to continue telling me that you're fine...whatever.  For those of you that actually want to tell me how you really are, I'm here....and always will be.

I love you all!

~The one that really does care~

Currently Listening Every Second Counts By Plain White T's Hate (I Really Don't Like You) see related

Victim's Impact Letter

My name is Tony Kleemann.  My family is, by far, the most important thing in the world to me.  I love them all with every ounce of my being.  When I heard that one of them was hurt, possibly killed, I lost every bit of strength I had.  You may be thinking that I mean that figuratively, but I assure you.  I literally fell to the ground and cried.

Yeah, Dave was younger than me, but I looked up to him about as much as he looked up to me, if not more.  He was awesome.  His love for the rest of us was so great.  I don’t know a single person that cared as much about their siblings as much as Dave did.  If anybody said anything even slightly offensive toward us, Dave was in their face.

I don’t know why God decided to give you a second chance, but He did.  I don’t want to know why He gave you one.  I want to know why Dave was taken from me and my family at the age of 18.  I want to know why I have to live the rest of my life with an empty seat at the dinner table.  I want to know why I have to wake up every morning knowing that I’m not going to get to see his contagious smile or hear his laugh from the other side of the house.  I want to know why my family has to go to Frieden’s Cemetery every February 11th to tell him “Happy Birthday, Dave.  We all miss you and love you so much.”  Last of all, I want to know why you feel the need to screw up your second chance.  There is obviously something that God has in store for you.  I can only pray that you stop screwing up and fulfill your purpose.

Currently Listening Every Second Counts By Plain White T's Hate (I Really Don't Like You) see related

Update on "The Life of Tony"